I was walking through Boots the other week when I noticed something I hadn't seen in a very long time! It used to be a familiar sight and once upon a time had told me things I liked and although it was for a small fee, we were friends all the same... I'm talking about the dreaded Boots weighing scales!
I had once read that weighing yourself is unhealthy and would eventually lead to eating disorders and self image issues, however, as I did read this in an Vanessa Feltz column, I hadn't really taken any notice!
I stood on my old friend, stood upright while it took my height measurements and gripped it handles like an old lovers hand. After stamping in that I was male (I do have a penis) and my age, which is also increasing, I stepped off gracefully in anticipation for the ticket.
The ticket dropped out the bottom, I took a look and im not kidding you I was that distraught I dropped my half eaten Greggs steak bake on the floor! Lets just say the scales deserved every penny it charged me after I had just spent the last few minutes putting it under extreme conditions with my official heavy ass!!! I instantly thought "If only I had listened to Vanessa!"
In an instant panic I went and brought a wok!
The wok was not to beat myself to death with, my actually train of thought was to live on healthy Mediterranean vegetables and healthy stir fry's until my face looked more meagre and less like a big fuck off moon.
With every intention of sticking to this and starting a healthy work out plan, I've completely failed! The only success in this task was admitting I have the willpower of a moth. Beer, nights out and fast food have become like the light bulb in my life and I'm that stupid fat moth that cannot stop flying at the 'weal pwetty lights' even though it will fry its wings until it burns to death!
I don't want to be a fat moth, they freak me out!
I'm being deadly serious about a major shake up in my lifestyle, as Summer is approaching I think everyone is starting to re-asses their lives and map out what they want and how they plan to get it! Reality has also put his foot in my door...
So If my next blog doesn't tell you I've lost a few pounds (and I'm not talking about being pick pocketed on a night out) then I will pick another element of my life to moan about and poke fun at! So for now, my famous last words will be...
If Kerry Katona can do it, so can Rivs!
